[ excuse him sounding a little sharp with that — he sighs, hearing his own words, and attempts again. ]
You don't need to fix me, Caitlyn. My illness is not your responsibility. [ it is no one else's than his own; that is why he didn't want to tell anyone, back home, wouldn't have told anyone if jayce hadn't been there, finding him and bringing him to the hospital. ]
[Caitlyn hears that sharp tone and she knows-- she's pushing it with him. While her and Viktor have always gotten along decently, it was always Jayce that was the real connection between them. Jayce could talk Viktor into anything, and while... there was a part of her, now, that was doing this for Jayce, she....also wanted to do this for Viktor. Because was still her friend.]
I'm not-- [-- trying to fix you, she stops herself from saying. It wouldn't be completely true, even if she did. Because...she kind of was, wasn't she? She's spent a lot of time with Vi, learning how things she always thought meant nothing could mean to someone from Zaun. How prejudice and classism played into how their two sides interacted. Even if Viktor had lived in Piltover for years now, he was still a child of Zaun. She could only imagine what he thought of them, sometimes. Especially when Piltover was largely to blame for most of their problems, and likely...his illness.]
I only want to ease your suffering, Viktor. You're my friend. Is it so wrong, that I don't want you to be miserable?
[ his mouth twists into the approximation of a humourless smile as she swallows her words; yes, he knows, because he's been trying to fix himself too. but it's his damn body, so it's his right to try and do anything at all about it... and the only one whose help he'd even so much as considered accepting had been jayce.
but then the words that follow make him deflate; you're my friend, she says, and once again he's reminded that this woman is like a little sister to jayce, that she's bright and intelligent and cares so, so much, and he doesn't have the heart to snuff her optimism with his own cynicism. ]
... Fine. It might be worth trying. Perhaps other worlds have different healing arts.
[Caitlyn doesn't actually expect Viktor to agree. At least, not that easily. She's learned the hard way, just how stubborn these Undercity people are. There's something about them, that just want to fight for everything. It must come with the territory, of how they had to fight to survive in Zaun, and in his case, fight to have a place in Piltover too.]
You-- really? [Wait, no, don't let him see your surprise!!]
I mean-- Excellent! I can reach out to Claude, or-- if you feel like it, we can go there now?
[ too late, he has already witnessed the surprise — and while he does make a face at that, it's mostly out of embarrassment, because about half of him is saying that he should have fought against it harder, simply out of principle, while the other half thinks he shouldn't have given her cause for surprise, at all... and the end result is this, the awkward way he stares at the floor for a moment before sighing. ]
Let's go before I change my mind, [ he mutters, mostly because if something good comes out of this, it might as well be caitlyn being happy that he's, ugh, taking care of himself or something like that.
and then, because once again his words came out sharper than intended, ] ... I do appreciate your help. And care. Just — [ he waves his hand haphazardly, hoping to indicate something along the lines of if i die here i will come back so what does it really matter, or the last time i tried to do something about my illness it killed a person. ]
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[ excuse him sounding a little sharp with that — he sighs, hearing his own words, and attempts again. ]
You don't need to fix me, Caitlyn. My illness is not your responsibility. [ it is no one else's than his own; that is why he didn't want to tell anyone, back home, wouldn't have told anyone if jayce hadn't been there, finding him and bringing him to the hospital. ]
no subject
I'm not-- [-- trying to fix you, she stops herself from saying. It wouldn't be completely true, even if she did. Because...she kind of was, wasn't she? She's spent a lot of time with Vi, learning how things she always thought meant nothing could mean to someone from Zaun. How prejudice and classism played into how their two sides interacted. Even if Viktor had lived in Piltover for years now, he was still a child of Zaun. She could only imagine what he thought of them, sometimes. Especially when Piltover was largely to blame for most of their problems, and likely...his illness.]
I only want to ease your suffering, Viktor. You're my friend. Is it so wrong, that I don't want you to be miserable?
no subject
but then the words that follow make him deflate; you're my friend, she says, and once again he's reminded that this woman is like a little sister to jayce, that she's bright and intelligent and cares so, so much, and he doesn't have the heart to snuff her optimism with his own cynicism. ]
... Fine. It might be worth trying. Perhaps other worlds have different healing arts.
no subject
You-- really? [Wait, no, don't let him see your surprise!!]
I mean-- Excellent! I can reach out to Claude, or-- if you feel like it, we can go there now?
no subject
Let's go before I change my mind, [ he mutters, mostly because if something good comes out of this, it might as well be caitlyn being happy that he's, ugh, taking care of himself or something like that.
and then, because once again his words came out sharper than intended, ] ... I do appreciate your help. And care. Just — [ he waves his hand haphazardly, hoping to indicate something along the lines of if i die here i will come back so what does it really matter, or the last time i tried to do something about my illness it killed a person. ]